And we danced all night..

Adventure-time

Where dreams are made of.

I'll Be Your Strength

There's this quote and it goes: If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

Although I want to believe that only the last part applies to me, I cannot deny that I do find myself living in the past and the future at times. I think about the past sometimes, but my biggest fault is letting my mind be consumed by these thoughts of the future. I get into this funk where I am just tired, lazy, and sad; really sad sometimes. But sad in the sense that I'd rather keep to myself and do absolutely nothing. If you know me, I like to be around interesting and good people (for the most part), doing fun things. I am one of those people who like to be busy. Let's be clear: busy, not overwhelmed. When my mind is totally overwhelmed with too many mind-consuming thoughts, I cannot eat; I cannot sleep; I cannot function properly. Now whether that means I have anxiety or that I just simply overreact at times, I obviously do have a problem here.

I have been told countless times that I am the epitome of calm, cool, and collected. However, like everything, there is more than what's on the surface. This isn't me trying to confess that I am doing anything harmful to myself because believe me, I love myself too much to do any of that. I cannot even fathom the idea of hurting another being, let alone myself. But I do hurt myself when I fall into these thought traps. My mind works fast and there's always something running around inside there; sometimes it's too much, and I swear racing thoughts will be detrimental to my health, if it isn't already.

Ironically, I was asked just recently what it is that makes me feel better when I am in a bad mood. Honestly, when it comes to these little outbreaks of anxiety removing me from the present, my feeling better is grâce à whoever is looking down on me from up above. Do you ever get these (I don't want to say signs, but) signs that perhaps there are much bigger things in this world than yourself and your problems? Maybe it's you coming across these words that seem to speak specifically to you or reading/hearing something that is exactly what you needed to read/hear; or maybe it's having one great day amidst several sucky ones; or maybe it's even having a genuinely nice conversation with someone you never thought could make you feel better. It's those moments that bring me back to the now.

I found myself in another one of these traps these past couple of weeks. With my study abroad being less than a year away, I am becoming stressed thinking about how much money it's going to cost. I've been thinking whether this is even a smart decision. Second thoughts aren't quite the correct term in this case because I don't necessarily think it's a foolish decision, not at all. I'm just thinking ahead to how this financial burden of studying abroad and attending college is going to affect my life when I'm older. And thus begins the snowball effect.

Nevertheless, I climbed out of this trap by simply enjoying my life again. Yes, I am aware that anything and everything I do now will in essence affect my anything and everything in a couple of years, as well as in 50 years. But I am doing myself no good if I don't, at least every now and then, learn to relax and actually enjoy this moment, the now. College is expensive, and I clearly knew this coming in. It is just all the more incentive for me to work my bum off.

A beautiful day with lovely circumstances, that was my savior this time. The conversations were kept light-hearted; laughter proved to be the best medicine; and the weather was just absolutely perfect. It was a splendid day following some no-so splendid ones and I'm just so extremely thankful for days like these.

Actually, I am thankful that I can be my own strength during one of my weaknesses.

Carpe Momentum, Carpe Vitum

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.

Hello blogging world!

Well first off, I'd like to start by saying that I'm quite new at this. I have a Tumblr, which is similar, but I wanted to start something new and different. I have no expectations with how this blog will go. If people read and follow it, people read and follow it. If they don't, they don't.

A little about myself: I am a university student with the determination and mindset of an athlete who's goal is to compete in the Olympics. In my case, traveling the world is my Olympics and my gold medal would be doing just that. I live in southern California, but where my mind and daydreams reside is the great wide somewhere.

If you don't recognize the great wide somewhere, it's either because A) it's a Disney kid thing or B) I didn't write the whole lyric out for you. I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. Belle broke out into this song at the beginning of Beauty and the Beast. I watched this movie plenty of times as a child, but the lyrics of this song didn't speak to me until a year or so ago.

At 19, I'm still fairly young. However, if we're meant to take any of the Disney princesses into consideration, they were extremely young to be wanting what they wanted. Yet, at the same time, I don't think there's really an age limit to anything. At the humble age of 14, I took my very first step on foreign soil. London, England, to be exact. Flash-forward to now, and I'm sat here to tell you that I've breathed the air (and seen only SOME of the sights) of 6 countries on 2 different continents.

I've always had the determination to fulfill the goals I set for myself, and I'm starting this blog to document my journey to this life-long goal. Again, I have no expectations with where this blog will go/take me; but, that is half the fun.